My background
My late father was from Penang (where I was born), and he worked as a clerk at a timber logging company. My mother was a dressmaker from Kedah. Together, they moved to the small town of Jerantut in Pahang, where I spent my toddler years. My sister came 2 years after me.
We lived in a rented a room in a wooden house within a rubber plantation. Nearest neighbour was 2 km away. Our family then moved to Kuala Lumpur when I was seven and my younger brother was added to the family.
Growing up, we were never hungry; we had new clothes each new year. But we were not rich – a no frills kind of life. We always lived in a rented room – whole family in one bedroom until I left KL at 17 to do my A-Levels in Singapore.
I grew up learning the value to thriftiness from my parents. I also learnt the importance of studying hard in order to move up in life – so I did not lack motivation to study. My parents knew they could not afford to pay for my university education, so doing well enough to get a scholarship was the target set for me. I grew up with this mission – study hard and do well in order to earn a good living. The vision – own a house, a car, have a wife and a kid or two. While this was the goal my parents set for me, it eventually became my own. No messing around with any form of distraction until I reach the goal.
Finding Jesus
Religion wise, my experience was that of a typical Chinese family practising a mixture of Taoist and Buddhist customs. We pray at temples on important occasion, worshipped our ancestors and heal our illness with charms from temple mediums. As I grew up, the basis and the reason for these practices became less than fully satisfactory to me.
In secondary school and pre-university, I had Christian friends who explained their faith to me. More importantly, they showed they faith in the peaceful and contented manner in which they approach the challenges of the world. My closest friends and my roommates were Christians, so I had many opportunities to experience how Christ blessed them. Little by little, a realization dawned that I cannot fully understand the reason for their hope and way of life – a peace beyond understanding – until I too experience it. It is not possible to understand it by observation – only by experiencing Christ will I be able to know if this is the true way.
Now, at 19 years of age, I made a resolution to stop being an observer and be a participant, to experience what it means to be a follower of Christ. I did managed to do well enough in my studies to get a place in NUS (later NTU), along with the financial support from bursary and scholarship. These conditions also bring about the loosening of my mother’s control over what constitute “distractions” to my achieving the goal.
At NUS, I seek out the elder brother of my classmate who also studied the same course in NUS. Together with another mentor, I undertook a personal bible study with them, leading to my confession of faith a few months later. Thus began my attendance of church services and varsity Christian fellowship events. This went well for nearly a year.
Falling away
In year 2 of university, I elected to continue my studies in NTU. With this came the physical separation from my mentors in NUS. In the last months prior to this, there was also an increasing stress on me – that of knowing changes required of me to fully obey God’s will, but the unwillingness to give up my old self. I took the easy way out of declaring a “spiritual holiday” – to be away from God and asking God to leave me alone for some time. Let me go count the cost before taking up the cross and follow Him.
“Some time” became 6 years. In this time, I managed to graduate and find a job. I was still on track to achieving my goal and vision. On hindsight, I now know God continued to watch over me despite my disobedience. He also knows my heart, and in His good time, I was blessed with Lai Fun. We started dating on 9 Aug, and a year later we were married to each other.
Lai Fun is an angel sent from God. She is a godly woman with a strong and sincere faith. During courtship, she firmly and gently brought me to face the decision I postpone 6 years ago – who is Jesus Christ and what shall I do with Him. Is He the Son of God who died to save mankind, or is He a mere man with strange claims. I then realize that was not the issue. I know and believe Jesus as was told in the bible. The issue is obedience – now that Jesus is Son of God – what shall I do? What can I do but to bow down and worship him?
Growing in service
And so began my return to God’s family at Pasir Panjang Church of Christ. Brother James Lim taught me well. I decide to obey the Lord in baptism. Members were warm, friendly and accepting. They are also imperfect which made me realize, it is normal to be imperfect, while striving towards perfection. I just need to be willing to let God mould and shape me according to His will for me. Minister Henry Kong just knew the timing, asking me to grow in service to the Lord’s church a little at a time. Small steps, each leading to bigger things.
When Henry asked me to share a lesson for Sunday evening worship, he provided me the outline – I just need to go on stage and say it aloud in my own words. My brother in law, Khin Wai, a zealous man of God, proposed to knock on every door of every apartment at Telok Blangah. His conviction made me try it and keep it up until we actually finished it all after 2 years. I had many excellent role models at PP.
Mid-Life crisis
At 35 years old, I awoke one day and realized I have already achieved my goal – the childhood dream my parents gave me is now complete – I own a house, a car, married to a beautiful and loving wife, along with two lovely kids. What now shall I do with myself? It was a strange period for me – in a way, elated and delighted, alternated with feelings of emptiness over the future. Do I now continue just so my responsibility to my family be fulfiled? To bring up my kids and to sustain them? What’s in it for me? But this limbo did not last long.
Attending PP’s Annual General Meeting in 2003, I was then voted to be church Secretary. Apparently, I just need to attend awareness (church leadership) meetings, keep minutes, sign some papers – how difficult can it be? So starts another phase of my journey – a life of thankfulness to God for all that He has blessed me. God has not withold from me, the desires of my heart, how then shall I withold from Him my obedience?
As He calls me, I learn to hear my shepherd’s voice. I am still learning, for I am yet a broken vessel, imperfect and prone to distractions of the world. But I rejoice for His grace is sufficient for me, and His patience towards me as I grow towards spiritual maturity.
What drives me
Gratitude for His blessings is the main motivation to continue in faith, serving Him and this congregation at PP faithfully. I see and realize, His care and watchfulness over me and my family – many an incident which could have been serious, turns out harmless or with minor hurts. All it takes is a little wrong turn or some unfortunate timing for a bigger disaster to visit upon me – each beyond my control. But the good Lord directs everything according to His will. Being able to see God’s blessing in all the good things we enjoy in this life helps me to appreciate God and realize how undeserving I am. This drives me to do better for Him each day – not because I need to repay a debt (for Jesus has paid it all) but out of gratitude – how can I disobey and grief the Holy Spirit, knowing how much He has done for me?
Fear of the Lord put me in my place when temptations of the world treatens me to disobedience. And indeed the temptations of the world are many and comes in many forms. The word of God is wise to counsel that we be vigilant, always.
My prayer and my wish/vision
My mother’s love, care, her gentle manner and wise counsel are the most important contribution to my being who I am now. I am quite happy with how I turned out, and I am full of unexpressed gratitude to my mother. Ultimately, I see God in this. However, my mother has not yet received the salvation of Christ – so I pray daily for her. I pray for wisdom and guidance to say and do the right things to show her the good news of salvation.
I know life will always have its ups and downs – my hope is in the good Lord, that my foundations be strong in the Lord so that I do not get swept away from the love of Christ in times of trouble. With this too, I hope to guide my children in the Lord, showing them the good pleasing and perfect will of God, so that they too may know and come to accept the good news of salvation in Christ Jesus.
PP is my family and I continue to contribute in whatever way the Lord guides me so that we all grow in spiritual maturity, bearing fruits of the spirit, bearing with one another, esteeming each other more highly than oneself, so that each one of us may glorify our Lord in our own special way.
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